I often like to look back and read all my writing. Part of the reason I do this is because I like to reflect on myself. Reading a diary can certainly make myself cringe but there’s something so poetic about reading the raw emotions of your past self. It’s basically validation when you take the time to do this.
As embarrassing as it might be, those were real thoughts and real emotions you felt. Maybe your understanding of it is different now, with what newfound knowledge and philosophies you might have. However it doesn’t make what you thought and felt any less real than it was. So what if you cried over that boy? So what if you got pissed off over someone moving your shoes somewhere else? These are real moments. We are not perfect. We were not meant to be perfect. We are eternally learning and there is so much value in that. There is so much value in looking back and going “Oh, that happened.”
It’s the reason why historians exist. “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. (George Santayana)” I find great joy in reveling in who I was and how much progress I have made since then.
Plus, past Ruzelle had some very good ideas that I wish to include in my daily life today. Her philosophy might not have always been so crisp but I’m pretty sure her intention was always good too.