Run. As Fast as I can.

Written 9.13.14

It used to be that I would wake up at 5 in the morning, go for a run, watch the sunrise and get on MySpace until it was time to shower for school. This was high school (just in case “Myspace” didn’t give it away). And while I can never deny I have the body weight of a sandbag, I know when I can consider myself “fit”.  Once upon a time, I was a dancer who worked out every other day with my older sister, could smoke all of the boys in gym class and by senior year, slept three hours every night but was still ready to do 3 miles in 25 minutes. All for the sake of being able to say that I could.

Then suddenly, a series events tackled me in the face as if by the Seahawks defensive line, leaving me unable to even will myself to walk across the university campus.

Life, right?

Over the years since, I’ve been on and off trying to get back into the business of running. I’d get up, run every few days for about a month and then suddenly stop, whether it was because I got too busy and too tired or because I couldn’t help but be let down by the fact that it began to take me 20 min. to run 2 miles. However, in the last month, I’ve received a newfound determination — part of which is putting down $40 to run for 13 miles.

And in this newfound determination, I’m slowly teaching myself a few things:

1. Look forward. I’m a very goal-oriented person. I don’t move without knowing where I’m going next and I have a hard time staying in the present because I’m so excited for tomorrow. You’d think that given my nature, I wouldn’t have to remember this but I do. Lately in my runs — and perhaps even in my life — I’ve been psyching myself out because I’m so dissatisfied with where I am that I forget to move forward. After realizing that this week, I stopped looking at the pavement in front of me when I ran and instead my surroundings. I can’t even describe how much it’s helped — not only in my run but also in reclaiming a little bit of myself. Sometimes you need to forget where you are, remember where you’re going and that it’s going to be sweet as crack.

2. Endurance trumps Speed. Kind of like how the tortoise won; he took his time and he got there. Maybe the hare took a nap because he wore himself out and needed to reenergize. Recently, I tested myself and learned that I still can do a mile in 8 minutes. However, I’m not stupid enough to believe I can do that for an extra 12. I’m not training myself to finish fast anymore; I’m training myself to keep going. Given my track record — i.e. graduating early, all my decisions — this is probably the harder lesson I’m trying to learn. The finish line is staying in its place; the question is whether or not I can get there.

So there’s that. Everything gets put to the test in about 3 weeks when I have a 10.5 mile run scheduled. Wish me the strength of a lion and the grace of a swan.

Tonight’s quick run made possible with a little help from:
MY ASICS app — which has designed the training program for me
Patagonia Nine Trails skirt — which I bought because POCKETS
The Truth About Love by P!nk — because I quite enjoy this album

p.s. the NFL season just started, are you watching?