“Efficient” they’ve called me. And it’s not necessarily that I use my time wisely, it’s more that I am able to turn things out faster than people expect — work, phone numbers, information. And I attribute it all to multitasking — that ability to do multiple things at once. I have always been that person who can hold a deep phone conversation, do work and keep my game of online bingo going simultaneously. Okay, maybe not so extreme but that’s a pretty good picture of how it usually is. I’ll admit that I sometimes spend my class time doing work for another class, texting a friend and taking notes on the lecture at the same time.
Cool? Maybe it is. However, it’s become increasingly more and more evident in the last few weeks that this habit — this learned behavior over all that time I’ve been forced to do it — has led me to a severe inability to focus. I have become scatter brained. More often than not, too many things are racing through my mind and I’m having a harder time reaching out to one, focusing it and getting it done. I’m getting phone calls in the middle of class to fix that post for work or I suddenly come up with a new life goal that I have to start detailing immediately. And not only that, I’m becoming more and more and more and more and more. . . . what was I going to say?
As more time goes by and more things come up, I find myself unable to manage my time wisely because of the demands and strains of everything I have in front of me. Which a few months ago, led me to a major breakdown that left me almost unable to function correctly. I was letting people down and worse, letting myself down. And then all of a sudden, I was no longer proud to do everything at once when I couldn’t even find the ability to do anything all the way anymore.
As time passed, I began to pick myself up and I began to get by — with a little help from my friends. I slowed things down, started to say no to things I didn’t have time or drive to do and only check Facebook after lunch (unless it’s for work). Now I’m good, or at least better. I’m working on things for school, work, Siha, Lambda Pi Eta and a couple of things on the side and have been able to manage myself well without getting too overwhelmed. I still have a hard time focusing, my mind drifts too often when I’m doing anything (I burnt cookies pretty recently), but I’m having an easier time staying in and appreciating the moment that I am in. So at least there’s that.
So I don’t know about you but I’m beginning to think multi-tasking is overrated.