Recently, I had a birthday and I had made it a point to tell everyone that I didn’t want my age revealed during the week. I didn’t want to be asked. I didn’t want signs or banners or cards with my age. It was an almost success with a couple of minor slips.
I’ve been told that I carry myself as a couple of years older than my actual age. I don’t mind this at all, and I honestly look forward to becoming an age old lady. Appreciate your moments, I say. But to be frank, I do sometimes wish I had an earlier year on my I.D. for a couple of reasons.
Here’s a list of things I cannot stand hearing:
1. “You’re a baby!”
Yes, I am young. People my age are prone to not knowing what they are doing nor want in life. Yeah, I probably have a number of years ahead of me. However, you can’t tell me that I haven’t experienced anything when you haven’t been where I have. It’s one of those “you don’t know me, you don’t know my story kind of things”.
I am young but I am not so inexperienced with life that I shouldn’t have some respect. Yes, I’ll still have my firsts but I don’t appreciate coddling or down-talk when that happens. That’s my general rule when dealing with people. Reassurance, sure? Coddling, no. And down-talk is just generally no.
2. “You know what you need to do? This.”
No one likes being told what to do. It’s not a young person thing, it’s not an old person thing. It’s a people thing. And I do not believe that there should be any kind of standard placed upon any person of any age. I don’t think that anyone should be telling me what they think I should be doing, if I sure as heck didn’t ask for it. Some objective and wise advice, sure? But I do not appreciate anyone telling me that I should do certain things because I am a certain age. I’m not interested. No, thanks.
This goes for both small stuff like going out to party and big stuff like what I plan to do with my life.
So he’s 35 and doesn’t plan to get married anytime soon, if ever, so she’s 23 and she wants to get married now. Yes, people make decisions they regret but not everyone does. It’s not even necessarily rare, just that everyone focuses on the risks too much to appreciate the gains. People are constantly chasing after happiness (the curse of the eternally unsatisfied human), there is no safe route so stop trying to steer me toward one. I’m not about to do something reckless, I just don’t like it when people tell me that I should do this at this age or that at that age. It’s silly.
3. “I get it. I was your age once.”
Do you though? I didn’t know that you grew up liking the things I did, appreciating what I do and experiencing exactly everything I had by the time I turned the age I am. Oh, you didn’t? You had different experiences in your life? Well. We’ve reached an impasse, then, haven’t we?
We all go through different things before we reach a certain age. Some things are normal, some things aren’t. Everyone reacts differently. Humans, generally speaking, are ultimately unpredictable. Just because you were my age, doesn’t necessarily mean you understand what it’s like to be in my head. I am not you and you were not me.
And don’t tell me that I’ll understand when I get older. Girl, I comprehend you like a book I read in the second grade. Twice. I get it. You’re just too stubborn to understand that I do.
So please stop comparing me to the general population of people my age. This goes for just about anyone, too. I have a strong distaste for upholding a certain standard for anyone. I don’t judge a person based on her age, but on her character and her quality of life. And I respect the decisions other people make and the words that other people say.
Life is a time for constant growth and movement. People are constantly adapting to their environments and that’s not restricted to any age. And while certain things are kinda fuzzy (that’s how it’ll always be, I think), I can tell you that I feel very secure in who I am and what I want out of my life. I don’t believe that my age should hinder any form of respect I receive for that. And I also don’t believe being my age deserves any kind of particular treatment either.
I just think that people consider age too often when talking to anyone and that’s not something I appreciate too much. I don’t spend my time the way a typical person my age does, I don’t converse about the things a typical person my age does and I definitely don’t think about life the way that a typical person my age does. Thus, I can always appreciate when people tell me that I seem older than I am.
Yes, I purposely left out my age in this post for those who wanted to guess my age. Perhaps this is all because of a stigma I have towards my age group but this post is already dragging too much to further explore that.
Ruzelle Almonds 