As of today, it has been nearly 7 years since I wrote this letter and you are far from a munchkin. Well into your teenage years and already taller than your mother, you’re about to become what I think is about to be the best driver in this family so far hahaha.
Kid, I can’t believe it. Time is a damn thief because it did flash before my eyes. I remember on your eighth birthday I carried you in my arms and your mom said “watch it, this is probably the last time you get carried around like that.” She was right. The year after I had been pregnant with your first, first cousin. Since then, more babies have been born to your family, more chaos has ensued and time and time again you prove to be the most level-headed person in our whole bloodline. Honestly, what could we ever do without you? We’re a ship of fools and you have the unfortunate job of being our captain.
Truly, I am SO sorry.
Kid, I am so proud of you. I hope as we adults grow around you, we make you proud too. I hope that we don’t let you down as often as the ones we had did. I hope that you trust us more than we’ve ever trusted ourselves. The teenage years can be rrrrrough. I don’t know what these years will do to you and I don’t expect you to have it together all the time. Which is why I hope you trust us. I hope that when things go wrong and you start to lose control, you feel like you can lean on us to get you through it.
I hope when you feel the weight of the world, you know we’ll help you carry it. I hope you feel like you have enough space to play, to learn to figure out your shit (oh god can i say that???) without feeling stressed about what we’ll think of you.
Let me tell you one thing: you won’t disappoint us. You’re allowed mistakes. You’re allowed failures. You’re allowed to do the wrong thing too many times til you figure it out.
Because LOOK AT US. Who are we to tell you that you have to be perfect? We know we’re not perfect. We don’t always do the right thing. You’re old enough to have seen and understand that. I won’t lie about it. So if you don’t think less of us for not being perfect people (please don’t lol), then you MUST understand we will never think less of you.
And I guess the point here is that I just want to let you know that you’re doing a great job. You have no idea how much we lucked out getting you as the first kid in the family. And honestly, the only thing I could hope for at this point, is that you do feel safe and loved with us. And that if you ever need anything – from a get out of jail free card to a day getting boba to just an ear because everything SUX – you’ve got me.
We got you, girl. Always. Forever.
Happy birthday cap’n.
Ruzelle Almonds 